i've been doing a little research on cushings disease and candy fits all of the criteria.
balding/ thinning hair
loss of muscle mass
back legs can no longer support weight
increase water intake(10x more than usual)
continuous urination
urinary tract infections
increase in appetite
circling

this makes me sad. i want to treat it, but i'm scared that i will just make her life worse by doing so. it would be different if she was 10 years old, but she's 17 years old. the treatments vary, depending on the cause of her cushings, from surgery to chemotherapy in the form of drugs. she's just too old for that. that's what the doctor told me, but i just wanted to see it for myself.
it's hard for me to see her back legs sliding around all over the place, coupled with her aimless wandering and bumping into things because she can't see.
i don't want her to suffer.

to do:

1. call hesse elementary for observation on friday
2. finish one appraisal packet
3. post 2 more discussions for technology class
4. wash clothes
5. walk with mindy
6. make greek burgers(no class tonight!)
7. come up with art lesson plan to teach at jamie's school

that's not bad.

that makes me happy

i've said this before and i'll say it again. i am person whose mood is effected by the color of the day. it has to be bright and sunny in order for me to be happy. it can be cold or hot, it doesn't matter which, as long as it's sunny. although i do really like a heavy rainstorm as long as all i'm doing is hanging out at the house and as long as it's not for an extended period of time, like for more than a day for instance.

today is beautiful and that makes me happy.

also- along with my increased water intake i've also decided to increase my fiber intake. i think i have irritable bowel syndrome. i meet all of the criteria. i have intermittent diarrhea(i had to look how to spell it. it still doesn't look right to me.) and constipation and this has gone on for at least 8 years. fiber is supposed to help it. we'll see.

also, i'm putting off school work i'm supposed to be doing right now. instead i'm telling the world about my diarrhea.

blather

i'm making spaghetti with homemade meat sauce for dinner tonight. i don't have class again and that makes me happy.

the doggy hospital that i'm running out of my house continues. apparently all of the dogs have hook worms again and candy has a severe urinary tract infection, and probably has cushings disease. the vet seemed to think that since she's 17yrs. old it's not really worth doing anything about it or even testing to make sure that she does have it. i haven't seen lewy have a seizure in about 2 weeks now. that doesn't mean he's not having them, that just means we haven't seen any. although, i think he's getting better. i found out that nutrition plays a big role in dogs with seizures, so i bought a multivitamin and switched his food to the very best(and most expensive) that can only be bought on line. mona's wound is better. she doesn't have to be bandaged anymore. that's great because the bandage was causing major irritation on her stomach after 1 month straight of constant rubbing. the wound isn't closed yet, but it's getting there. now we just have to clean it with betadine and put neosporin on it everyday.

i took the gace basic skills test this past weekend. i think i passed all 3 sections, but i wont know until the end of november. i almost can't stand it. now, i'm thinking of taking the paraprofessional gace test so that i can work as a paraprofessional until i actually get certified to teach. a paraprofessional is basically a teachers assistant.

i'm going to go buy candy a dog sweater. i gave her a haircut and she's cold.

one thing i hate about winter is that my hands stay forever cold, even when the rest of my body is warm.

alex,alexis,alexia,alexander...

alex, my oldest brother, went into the hospital 2 days ago. long story short- he passed out a couple of times by himself in his house(his wife is in europe), my aunt took him to the er and eventually they found that he was internally bleeding from an ulcer he didn't know he had. he lost so much blood that he's still in there because they still don't know if it's safe for him to leave. it was scary. my mom called me to tell me what was going on and within an hour i was suddenly on a 5 1/2 hour drive down to see my brother. at first i was thinking i would wait to see what they found out, but then i thought, what if i'm too late? so i left and now i'm here in his office with their dogs and my mom is in the guest room. i'll be here next weekend too because he has a buccaneers ticket for mike. lewy gets to play with jackson.
i think i'm delirious a little bit. i've gotta go to sleep.
goooood night.

i need more water

i've decided i'm going to take this water drinking thing much more seriously. i think it's going to help me tremendously in a lot of aspects. i remember when i first moved to savannah i was drinking a lot of water and i felt and looked awesome, if i must say so myself.
as it is, i may drink one glass of water a day, maybe. even that one glass i might have is canceled out because i drink a cup of coffee every morning and usually some kind of alcoholic drink at night. so unhealthy! i just did a little research on line and it said that for my body weight i should drink an 8oz. glass of water every hour that i am awake. at first it's going to send me to the bathroom constantly, but after a couple of weeks my bladder will adjust and i will go less frequently.
it's not that i don't drink water because i dislike it or anything. it's because i'm lazy. i don't drink much of anything really. if i do drink something it's coffee, alcohol, or water.

on to the next

i took the gre last weekend and i'm pretty damn sure i didn't get the score i needed. i think i was in the 70th percentile in the verbal section and in math i was in the 4th percentile. yes, the 4th. i'm not surprised especially since i clicked on whatever letter fancied me without even looking at the question. i simply can't do math. i'm still waiting to see what i received on the written part. good news is that this weekend coming up i have the gace which is another test option. the math and everything else only goes up to fifth grade level, and they provide you with equations and definitions for the math part. if i don't pass this, then i really shouldn't be teaching.
on to other things. mike and i got into a pretty big argument this past weekend. he does this inconsiderate thing when he gets drunk where he'll walk off to go talk to someone else or do something else and doesn't let me know. ex: we'll be talking about something, i turn around to say something to somebody else that's standing right there, i turn around to say something to him and he's not there. it's fucking rude. i reached my limit finally and well, i reached my limit. i ended up sleeping on the couch. the next morning we talked about it and he was apologetic. i also brought up some other things that truly bother me like when he says that he's "the boss"(when he's drunk) and when he trys to say that my role is x and his role is y. i let him know that he is not the boss, and neither am i. i don't want to be in a relationship where one person rules the roost. i also let him know that my role is not the one that he thinks. he seemed to understand what i was saying. we had breakfast and we moved on.
next- i'm still looking for another job. i decided not to go for that other gallery for now. instead i'm looking into this child learning center that had a few openings last time i checked. more hours, more classroom experience. we'll see.
should i go to class tonight? i don't know... probably not.

elephants and guadalupes

trips are good for me. every single time i am re-energized.
i've been shopping around for a new couch. i've hated this one since it got handed down to me from my mom. i'm thankful for it, but i hate the fabric on it. i'm looking for a very simple 2 piece sectional, with wood feet, and straight arms. actually, one side with an arm and the other without. it's seems very simple to me, but it's impossible to find. well, that's a lie. i did find one, but it only comes in one color and i'm afraid it's too light. i want a neutral color since everything else in my house is so bold, but this one may be a little too light. i also want to get rid of a chair i got from my mom that is very nice, but not my style. it's kind of hard to get rid of because that is the chair that my grandmother sat in for hours on end when she was living with my mom. that's abuela's chair. maybe i can make mike put it in his room. also, i want to recover this other chair that we have. since it's only 2 cushions it wont be expensive at all and i can get a really cool graphic pattern. exciting! ! ! !
on to other things. i was dusting my elephants yesterday when i had a revelation, sort of. when i started interviewing for that gallery job(that i didn't get, by the way) i had the idea that i would paint/create very folk arty guadalupes to sell there. i still want to do that, but i want to try to sell them at the farmers market first. so, revelation. as i was dusting the elephants i realized that i should just do what i like. very simple. i like the virgin of guadalupe and i like elephants. i'm going to do the same thing with elephants.
i've also gotten back on the cooking wagon. for a while there i decided to get off because i was feeling unappreciated and it began to feel like it was my duty. so, i showed him that that wasn't the case. and quite honestly i truly just didn't feel like it. for some reason since i've been back from masonites house i've been cooking. the first meal was chicken sagwala, an indian dish that is utterly amazing. then last night i made macaroni and cheese with sausage. it was very laborious and took way longer than i expected. i got back from class at 8pm and went straight to making it from scratch. it was damn tasty though. i guess we'll be eating that tonight too.
well, it's almost 10am. i guess i should get some work done.

OH! and today is candy's 17th birthday!!!

failure

it's hard not to get down on myself. i thought for sure i had this gallery job. i was mistaken. so now i've gone through two interviewing processes where i think i'm doing awesome and come to find out, not awesome enough. i thought about this when mason and i went to dinner the other night at vivo(and i became a gnocchi). he was saying how good he is at dating. how he even has a good time when he doesn't really feel a connection. meanwhile the other person on the date thinks everything is going great. i was thinking to myself 'that's me in an interview. i'm the idiot that thinks everything is going great.' well, all i can do is keep trying right? i saw an open position at another gallery that i don't like as much at all, and it's very part time. the ad did say that there is room to grow.
so now, i 'm back in the savnasty, thinking about the fat i put on my body while in chicago and how i'm going to take it off through sitting here and thinking about it. i think i'm going to start by eating a bagel at the sentient bean, loaded down with cream cheese on every bite.
i have the gre this weekend. i haven't studied, no. i have a strong sense that i'm going to fail that too. seriously.
well, i guess i'm just a big failure.
that reminds me, i have to order some halloween costume pieces quick! we're going to be dog the bounty hunter and his wife. i'm really excited about this one.
i think the chicago times deserve it's own post. so keep an eye out for that one!

we'll see

so-much to my dismay i am on another 3 interview roller coaster ride, hopefully? i just came from my first "informal" interview at shop scad. shop scad is an art gallery that showcases scad student and alumni work. if i get the job they want me to have work to sell there, which is very exciting. the next interview is supposed to be in front of some sort of a panel and the last interview, if i get there, will be with someone at scad itself.
we'll see....

land it

i just sent in my cover letter and resume in to an art gallery downtown. i found the job posting on craigslist. that would be a cool job. it pays alright, although they didn't mention the amount of hours. it would be great if it was a full time job. of course i'll keep the other two jobs and continue with school.
hopefully i'll land this one.