maaan

mike got back from the winter x games late monday night. i was excited for his return since he had been gone for 6 days, unitl he promptly got sick. really sick. i've never seen him so sick. 102* fevers, caughing, aching back, whine whineWHINE! you see, my dad used to always whine and say he was sick and this was hurting and that was aching and whine whineWHINE! so, because of that i kind of get pissed when people get sick. i just don't want to hear it. i'll give you what you need, but i certainly don't want to hear any whining coming from you. at all. please. thank you.
i do feel bad for him. i want him to get all better. not just for my sake.
on top of him being sick, i have 8 hour work days, and then 3 hour classes and work for those classes, and life, and not enough sleep.

keep on truckin'

i've always had kind of a lackadaisical view on the negative things that happen in life. like, why let this event fuck everything up when you've got 70 years ahead of you? just keep on truckin'. probably because i went through more than the average joe the first ten years of my life.
i just think that you make your own reality. what you put out there is exactly what's gonna' come your way. if you think that you are fat and ugly, then that's what people are going to think about you too. mindy and i were talking about this the other day when we saw a sad, ugly, fat girl at a restaurant. she was sitting slumped over with zero confidence while her "skinny, pretty friend" talked to the guys at the table. if she carried herself with grace and confidence people would respect her and not think that she was sad, fat, and ugly. if she didn't make self deprecating comments people wouldn't run the other way. it just seems like such a simple concept to me. i guess everybody has their particular journey in life and for some people it's figuring out that if they don't love themselves nobody is going to do it for them.
just some thoughts i've been having.

bugs

i had the oddest feeling this morning. it was like i had slept maybe an hour and tried to wake up to go to work, but really i slept 6 hours, which isn't too bad. i was completely exhausted. i'm not sure if i'm about to get this stomach flu bug thing that has been going around our class and now the other two year old class. so far 6 out of 11 people(including teachers) from my class have had it. it involves uncontrollable vomiting for 24 to 48 hours. nice. i'm excited.
keara said she felt exhausted before she actually began to vomit.
i guess time will tell.

wha

i am so very tired. and it's only the begining of the semester. last time wasn't so hard probably because it was the first semester and there were a couple of bull shit classes, but this time all three of them are on graduate level degree of hardness. so i have school and two jobs. i am so behind in the appraisal job that i'm just waiting for that phone call to let me know that they've found someone else. i'm not sleeping very well at night either. it's because of the stress. working and going to school is hard. wha.

it's a pretty good day

'realize what a great day you are having before it's too late'
that's what my horoscope said today. so here i am, 10:33am and i'm realizing it. so far, i woke up an hour ago, it's my day off. i made coffee and had some coffee cake with it. i wrote my broker at KW to let her know that i want to move my license to inactive status or to the referral company. i've been putting that one off for a while. i'm about to vacuum with my new vacuum. then i'm going to shower and go make copies for my other job. i need to get stuff ready for class tonight as well. today is a pretty good day.

i must, imust

mindy and i continue on our 5k training schedule. i'm proud of us because this morning it was 22* wind chill out there and we still went for our training. For one, that is very cold for savannah. and for two, we both hate cold weather. today is a great day because i don't have work nor school. i will feel like a house wife today. exercise, clean, cook...

i'm going to make baked rigatoni bolognese tonight.

we went bowling last night for the sunday dollar deal thing they have going. a lot of people went. there were 11 that we actually invited and more that those people invited. well, i'm annoyed because we asked our neighbors if they wanted to come last time and at first they were all about it, but then they copped out. that's fine. then this sunday mike called them to see if they wanted to come and they were like, "yeah, our friends from that one diner are going so we are going with them." i didn't think it was too big of a deal until they practically ignored us when they were there and then they just left without saying bye. they're annoying. fukin' dorks.

i have some phone calls looming over my head that have been doing so for several months. today is the day i need to make them. i must.

it's fridayeah

i bought candy, my 17 year old dog, a valentines hoodie today. it's nice.
also, when i'm bored i google different variations of "boxer". today it was "black boxer dog". isn't that weird?
also, also, i'm making fajitas for diner tonight. by the time i grill the steak it will have been marinating for 5 hours. i'm going to go get some avocados so i can make guacamole.

also, also, also, michael is further melting my heart daily. last night we got into an argument that began with normal bickering and quickly escalated into a harsh exchange of words, in public. i decided i was going to ignore him until he apologized and i figured that wouldn't happen until the next day after i dragged it out of him. i festered furiously inside for a few minutes when he said to me, "jaz, i'm sorry i talked to you that way." i couldn't believe it. a heartfelt apology was all it took and we proceeded to have a wonderful diner. nice.

i feel better already

since i had a bit of a stressful day and on top of that it's grey outside i decided to focus on the positive. here's a list of 15 things i am thankful for today:
1. the geico gecko that mike put on my laptop
2. a warm house
3. mona's snoring
4. getting into the class i need
5. the professor i met last night that i really enjoyed
6. thailand trip
7. mike
8. finding my car in the parking garage
9. saigon leftovers
10. having money for gas
11. talking to my mom today
12. getting a full night of sleep last night
13. not working at the p-school tomorrow
14. regular bowel movements
15. and not giving in to the chikfila temptation today

fun stuff

we organized a night of bowling this past sunday. $1 games, shoes, popcorn, and hot dogs; and they serve booze that is more than a dollar. it was so much fun that we are making it a regular sunday thing. i was the best girl bowler of course. no, i don't want to jinx myself. knock on wood or something. i'm hoping we, meaning I get to the point where i will get my own ball and shoes and bag. oh yess.
also, mindy and i began our 5k training schedule today. it's supposed to have us from the couch to running a 5k in 9 weeks. we are excited. after the 5k we plan on moving on to a 10k, then a half marathon and then a full marathon by next year this time.

just thinking

isn't it strange that the closest people to you, the ones you trust and love the most are the ones that hurt you the most? it's just a thought about humanity. i'm just in one of those moods when i ask myself is this real? this thing we call life? i don't think i will ever reach the expectations i had as a child for how life should be. i look at my mom and i know that she never imagined nor wanted her life to be the way it is. that scares me. we all want to be happy and don't think that we will be one of those unfortunate ones that end up unhappy. i'm slowly realizing that i will probably never be happy in the way that i've imagined or dreamed happy to be my entire life. but i also think that i'm growing up and seeing happy from a different perspective.
just some thoughts.

yesssss

i'm so happy. the last few months have been really splendid between mike and i. truly. i feel like his approach to conflict has changed, for the better, and i love it. i love him.

it's been a while

the holidays were great this year. spent time with the fam and mike in dallas for the christmas part of it. very relaxed and i wasn't mean to my mom, that's usually a struggle. it really was great. the new years part was splendid too. we went to asheville to stay at a house that we rented that was at the top of a mountain. the view was amazing. we went snowboarding and i fell alot. i'm still learning.
now we are back to real life. work commenced on january 2nd and school will begin next week.
i'm going to go eat some leftovers. i'm hungry.
i don't want to take down christmas decorations this weekend.