it just makes me sad

it hurts my feelings when a person i consider one of my best friends, doesn't call on my birthday or the next, or the next. you get the idea. we had a falling out that spanned a year long of no communication whatsoever. then we buried the hatchet and returned to normal, only now we lived 1,000's of miles away from each other. it bothers me that i've become that friend in her life that she sees is calling and doesn't answer the phone. i remember when she used to do that with lyndsey, a very good friend of hers.
the last time we talked she said to me that we needed to talk more and that just because we don't talk as much not to think that i'm not always on her mind. that made me feel good. i told her i thought we should talk more too, but i didn't say that the reason we don't talk as much is because you don't answer the phone or return my calls.
-so the conversation ended and i called her a few days later to keep her abreast of a situation and to keep the ball rolling with "keeping in touch" and the same shit happens. no call back for months. then i decided one day to call her and let her know of all the knew things in my life and she immediately called back after hearing my message(and not answering the call in the first place) only because she thought i had something "important" to tell her. i couldn't answer the phone right that moment. that was it. my birthday came around about a week or so later and, no call.
just to quote her "it will never be the same"

candy pants

so- candy, my dog that i've had since i was 10 and am now 27, has hemorrhoids. this just adds to the list of afflictions she's dealing with. she's blind, almost completely deaf, can't hold her pee for too long, has really really bad breath(teeth are green), and don't forget the fact that she's 119 years old in dog years, therefore her limited movement reflects that. i know it sounds bad. i know people think i should put her to sleep, but i really don't think so. she's like an old person. i mean, my grandmother wears diapers too and has alot of other things in common with candy, but that doesn't mean we should put her to sleep. she'll go when she's ready.

i feel you

i hate that you are so sad right now. i wish i could be there in person so badly. just to sit and listen, and let you cry.
it's weird because in a way i am sad too. i feel like every time we talk i'm holding back tears. i can feel your pain and i don't want you to feel that way.
just try to remember that one day this will be something that happened in the past. you will have new things in your life to be happy about.
i love you, and always will.

when things are good, they are so good.

and when things are bad, they are SO bad. why is that?
life just seems to be funny that way. it's totally the cliche of "life's a roller coaster ride!"
things are going really well for me right now so i thought i should acknowledge it.

things with mike are better than ever. we've finally reached an understanding on recent issues.

i started grad school last week and i love all of my classes and professors.
i went for a job interview this past tuesday that couldn't have possibly gone better.
i was able to reschedule my gre exam for late october.
we're going to california and mexico in september.
i have a nice new to me car that doesn't overheat at stop lights.
oh, and my birthday's on monday.

i'm just really happy with the way things are going. i really hope i get this job as a design consultant. i thrive when i am busy. if i get this job, i am going to be very busy. full time grad student and full time job... on days that i have class i'll be rushing straight from work to class. I also plan on contuning the real estate thing after 5pm and on weekends. the market is so bad here that i have to do something else. i'm tired of borrowing money from moms.

geico gecco

lynne came and visited me this weekend. we really had a great time. it was exactly what i needed... a visit from an ol' friend. we did it up like old times. i spent most of sunday recovering from the good time. lynne is one of those friends that surprises me from time to time, in a good way. this time she let me know, over a slice at vinnie's, that she is now bi(meaning bi sexual). i took the revelation in stride as though she told me that she is now eating broccoli on a regular bases. i probably should have reacted at least a little surprised or something, but i didn't. i was trying to let her know that it doesn't bother me, but in my attempt to act as though i don't care i think it really looked like i don't give a shit. i don't know. i'll call her today or something.
so, i've been loosing weight. i think it's only a couple pounds right now. i'm going to find out today. it's so easy to loose weight, and i always tell myself that when i'm doing it. it's just mustering up the resolve that i'm really going to do this. that's the hard part. not eating as much and exercising, that's the easy part after you decide that you are really going to do it.
i might be getting a new job soon. i will be a design consultant at a high end tile show room. i would work 9-5 mon.-fri. and every other sat. until 1. it will be weird for me since i've NEVER worked a 9-5 job. both of my jobs right now i do from home. so, that's going to take some adjusting.
did i mention that i did end up getting my new car? i don't think i have. yeah, i got my new car. lynne was calling it my mom car. it's a 4 door sedan, white w/ tan leather interior, automatic. it kind of is a mom car, but i really needed to make that change. i had been driving around in my 12 year old 2 door, standard, civic that was overheating at red lights and just being old. i don't really miss her. i guess i just reached that point that you have to get to before you can leave something behind.
also, i got a new dress from american apparel. i fucking love it. i'll be able to wear it in the winter time too. so exciting.
also, mike looks like the geico gecco. he really does.