hmm

today's a nice day. i'm sitting here, listening to billy holiday, cleaning up here and there, lighting candles, feeding my orchids, wearing comfy pants, contemplating the nicaragua trip...
i had a dream last night that i bought a new camera. this is something i really want to do this summer. speaking of creative endeavors, since i graduated from scad 3 years ago(weird) i've barely done anything creative. meaning, i haven't followed through on any projects. i haven't been in the right place to do anything, both mentally and physically. mindy and i have been talking about renting out a studio space and sharing it. i really want to do this. i need a place that is away from home. i don't like to work around people or distractions. i don't like to show works in progress. if she doesn't want to do it with me maybe i'll just get one myself. it's only 200 bucks a month.

sweeney todd

i watched it the other night and i EFING LOVED it! i had no idea what the story was about before hand and also i only like to watch musicals if it's in person and they are on a stage.
i just loved this movie. beautiful.

bitchy?

sometimes i just wonder about humanity and the ability to wistand bullshit and the meaning of withstanding bull shit. and what is bull shit anyways?
ugh...
i'm pretty much pissed at the pizza delivery guy who just forgot my cheesey bread. i told him that i would give him the rest of the money when he came back with the bread. as soon as i got inside i felt so bad for him. he was a very nice, appologetic, older man, that drove up in his family hoopty. you can tell he's trying to make ends meet in an "honest " way. this is probably his weekend job. i added a dollar to his tip, bringing the tip to a grand total of 6 dollars. that's pretty good if you ask me. i still feel bad.
but, back to my problems. mike really disapointed me on thursday night. as a precursor; he is very jelous of anybody in my life, be it family or friends. mindy went to the sand gnats baseball game with us for thirsty thursday. first time she's hung out with the three of us. she has purposefully avoided it because she didn't want to be the third wheel. well, in the end he called her and i lesbians and continued to berate her while she sat in the back seat of the car on the ride home. disapointed/angry/sad... must i go on.?
i slept in my car after a very ugly and aggresive argument till abot 3am. then i snuck into the guest room. he called at around 4am wondering where i was and could i please call him. he called again at 5am and i answered, let him know i was in the guest room.
same shit over and over. am i too cynical? am i the bitch? i know that in this situation i am not, but am i generally just way too bitchy?