procrastination station? no way!

end the tendency to procrastinate. that's my motto for today. it even said so in one of my horoscopes. right after i finish this blog, and drink some coffee, i'll get right on that.
seriously, i'm going to clean the shit out of my house today. cleaning involves unpacking and organizing and taking things to salvation army, and actual cleaning. my car is still full of stuff from over a month ago. when i say full, i mean it. people can't sit in it. see, what happened was i filled it with the last load of stuff, and just left it there, never actually bringing it into my house.

...

i'm so so sad. i can feel the depression taking a grip over me. i'm trying so hard not to let it happen. but i can't help but feel sad. i'm consumed with doubt. it literally makes me sick. i don't know what i want. i thought i was over the sudden waves of emotion, but i guess tonight is a hard one. if i could, i would literally sleep and sleep and sleep. i don't want to do anything. i don't know why this is all hitting me so hard right now.
to top it all of, i just wiped my tears with fingers that previously rubbed red pepper flakes. great.