feeling pretty good

this past weekend was so incredibly emotionally exhausting.
last night was my first night of good sleep.
long story short- went to buy a car, negotiated for hours, drove away with the new car, brought it back two days later and drove away in old faithful-12 year old civy.
yeah, so that sucked.
what else... oh, camryn is back in dallas. i'm so glad she came and stayed for 2 weeks with me. it was really a great time. like i said beofre, she truly blows my mind.
i'm going to start studying for the gre again. school starts on aug. 16. it's weird because i kinda' feel like a freshmen even though i've gone to college for 5 years and came out with an associates degree and a bachelors. now it's been 2 years since i've been in school and i'm a little nervous. i'm actually just nervous about the gre. that just reminded me that i 'm not even sure if i need to take the gre or if i should be taking the gace(?) instead. ugh. i don't know.
i'm feeling pretty good today. i'm going to finish up my appraisal work, study for the gre, and workout. sounds good to me!

the camryn rambles

camryn's been here for one week and four days now. Last week she had art camp and this week it's horse back riding camp. she blows my mind every single day with the things she says. she's so eloquent for her age. she's so grown up that i forget sometimes that she's only eight. she's such a compassionate little girl and she's definitely wise beyond her years. sometimes i think she's a little too grown up. it's like she never fully lets loose and has fun like you think a kid should. she's always holding something back. she reminds me of myself when i was a kid. i was an angry kid though, and that she is not. she's very sweet and sensitive.
i'm so glad she's here. last time she came and stayed with me was 2 years ago for two weeks. she was only six at the time and things didn't go as smoothly as this time. she was far too young to be away from her mom for so long. also, i didn't have her in any day camps or anything like that. this time she is really having a great time and so am i. i hope this can become a a regular thing.
yesterday we went out on mike's boat to the river community that he grew up in. it's called the chichesee(?) river. we went to a water festival. it's kind of a large gathering of drunken rednecks on the water with their boats. you tie your boats together and you swim in the water and drink, so on and so forth. on our way back to the dock we stoped at rose island, where there is a swing tied to a tree where kids swing and drop into the water. camryn wanted to do it. when it was her turn she couldn't do it. we tried and tried to coax her. i got in the water. i counted to three. i cheered and clapped. i tried everything. i told her several times that if she didn't want to do it it she didn't have to, it was up to her. she wanted to do it even though she was standing there with tears streaming down her face because she couldn't get the courage up. eventually i asked her if she wanted me to push her in and she said yes! i ran up to the platform area, pulled her back, counted to three and let go. it was beautiful. immediately after that she did it again and again and again. i told how proud i was that she overcame her fear and all she could say was that she didn't really do it because i had to push her in and that she cried in front of everybody. she tends to be too hard on herself. i wish she could spend more time with me so i could help build her confidence. her mom is not a confident person at all and wants her daughter to be just like her in that sense. it makes her feel better about herself if her daughter is like her.
okay, i'm done rambling. that was a true rambling.

For some reason i can't title my blogs and thats annoying. it won't let me type in the empty field box for where the title is supposed to go. annoying.

anyhow, i wanted to make a list and brag of all the things i've taught lewy. lewy is our 10 month old boxer. he is white with one brown ear. speak is the newest one and it took him literally about 3 minutes to learn it. he's such a fast learner.

1) sit
2) stay
3) lay down
4) shake
5) speak
6) come
7) where's your toy? (he goes and gets it)
8) get outta' the kitchen
9) go (go away)
10) wana' go outside?

i'm making eggplant parmesan right now. it's in the oven and it smells fantastic and i can't wait to fill my mouth with it and gulp it down with a bite of bread and some red wine, with my honey by my side. is that a run on sentence?
i feel really great today, which is an utter relief since i've been feeling like complete shit for the past several weeks. the black cloud has stopped stalking me, finally. mike and i had some issues we had to put out on the table and tackle. one thing with us is that when it's good, it's soo damn good.
it's so weird how quickly things can get out of hand and suddenly it's like you don't even know the person you're with. like you're strangers or something.

my mom is coming to visit and she's bringing my niece. camryn's going to stay with her favorite aunt for 2 weeks! i have her signed up for a week of art camp and a week of horse back riding camp. she'll do that for a few hours a day and then it's the rest of the day and weekends with me. we're going to have a good time.
i can't believe she's 8 now. she was born when i was 18. i was about to graduate from high school and i moved to dallas and lived there for 3 years just so i could be near her and be an influential person in her life.

life is good...