stay tuned boys and girls...

well, i got broken up with last night. by 8am he was begging that i give him another chance.
i had delivered the letter that i wrote him a month ago when i had made my decision to move out. i also added to the letter. i ended it with "You Suck!" i know, very mature of me, but the latest thanksgiving debacle kind of put me in that place where i no longer gave a fuck about his feelings. i'ma do me.
i delivered the letter after work and headed straight to happy hour. i had 3 pints at the first bar, then i went to the second bar. i didn't have to work today, so happy hour turned into binge drinking. as i was chatting it up with my old friend evan for about an hour, who happened to be at the bar, mike came up behind me. he had been looking for me, and found me. damn savannah! after he made evan feel sufficiently awkward for speaking with me he, evan, left the bar. mike proceeds to tell me that we need to talk, that he read my letter, that he's been crying for the last 3 hours,that we need to talk somewhere else. i said, "why? because you want to break up with me?" yup, that was it. i was wasted, he was sober. i told him all kinds of mean things, that i meant. he cried, i cried, at the bar. i left to go home and he followed me. asked me to please come here, whilst sobbing.

okay- i wrote the above entry this past wednesday. since then he randomly stopped by on thursday, after it was decided we wouldn't talk or see each other for a couple of weeks. i'm sure that he stoped by because he wanted to have sex and missed me, and he wanted to have sex. nope. he didn't get any. we went to get some drinks and then we parted ways. he informed me his plans of wanting to go to europe for a couple of months and i informed him of my plans to go to belize this summer for at least a month.
things are weird. one thing i know for sure is that i love him and i like our relationship when he is considerate and non selfish, and that is why i am still wanting to work things out, BUT i'm prepared to let things go if that is the way it should be.
these next few months are going to be the real trial period. if things don't significantly change in the next few months and then a gradual change from there on out, it's just not going to be.
at least he has realized that he "has to grow up" all on his own.
stay tuned boys and girls...