after november 1st will have a better grasp of what's going on and i will be able to breath. between now and then i have to pack everything i own, find a moving company to move it, begin and finish my portfolio, and take complete control of the classroom for 20 consecutive days.
i hope that i don't fall into some sort of depression and i continue on strong. things with mike are only getting worse i guess i could say? i'm not really sure though because really it's the same behavior he's exhibited throughout the relationship. i guess i just thought that when faced with the possibility of losing me he would do some things differently. i guess that's the problem; he doesn't believe i'm really moving out. i think it will sink in when he sees me packing tomorrow.
i didn't expect a complete and sudden change, but i also didn't expect to be treated like this.
i wish i could close my eyes and when i opened them back up it would be november 2nd. instead, i'm going to have to take it one day at a time.
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