te quiero mucho

it's been a while.
my grandmother passed away this past thursday evening at 9:15pm. i was driving home from class, talking to mindy on the phone at about 9:15. she asked me about my grandmother and i told her that i wanted her to die because she was suffering so much and i knew she would never recover. a few minutes into the conversation i get a call from my mom and i answer it and she's sobbing, she died. i was in shock. immediately i wanted to take back that comment i made, that energy i put out into the universe. it was too late. i know she didn't die because of what i said. she was ready. she waited to see her three living children and when they left she passed. i got to talk to her on the phone earlier in the day. well, actually we didn't talk. my mom held the phone to her ear and took the oxygen mask off while i told her that i loved her very much and she responded with a couple of whimpers. her last words were "how bitter" meaning the water she was drinking and life itself. the nurse asked her if she wanted different water and she said, "no thank you." she closed her eyes and passed to the other side.
i miss her. she was a spoiled brat, but so hard to resist. she gave me so many things... love of plants and animals, cooking, art, beauty, and most importantly spirituality. she showed me that there is a different way from such a young age. she opened my eyes to the truth.